Bullying or Life Skill?

I understand the bullying policies in today's schools and I like that they are in place. But, as a mom of boys, sometimes I think there is some value in standing up for yourself, even if that means punching someone back.

Today, when Booker got in the car, he told me that Little Brat Boy punched and kicked him in the bathroom. I asked him why, and he said he didn't know, he didn't do anything. Then I asked him what he did back. "Well, I told him 'ouch, that hurt', washed my hands and went to tell my teacher". He handled it perfectly according to 2012 rules. Good for him! I was proud of him and told him he did the right thing. But then I started second guessing my parenting skills. Am I going to encourage my son to be the victim and get picked on? So, I told Booker that if Little Brat Boy continues to pick on him, or punch or kick him, that he has Mom and Dad's permission to punch him back. I told him he will get in trouble at school, but to know that if it was defending himself, he would not be in trouble at home.

Then, the principal called me. She wanted to tell me there was an incident and that Booker handled it exactly how he was supposed to and she was very proud. She told me that Little Brat Boy was being disciplined, and that if Booker would to have hit back, both parties have to be disciplined. I told her I understand, but also think there is a certain life skill boys learn by sticking up for themselves. Of course she couldn't encourage this behavior, which I'm actually glad for, but I just wanted to get it out there.

Anyway, I told Booker that I got a call from his principal and that she was very proud of him for how he handled the situation. He was proud of himself too. For the most part, he's a lover, not a fighter. It's just hard knowing what the right thing is to do. For me and him. And I'm sure he's even more confused now, poor kid.